Time Integrity: Ditching the Victim Mentality

If you are really committed to integrating Time Integrity into your value system and success plan, here are some things to consider.

There are TWO BIG SHIFTS to make the change to Time Integrity. We will address the first one this week

Your beliefs and word choices about time are habitual and not serving you. They are causing you to SPIN OUT OF CONTROL. We use phrases all day every day that relinquishes our control over how we use our time.  

How often are you saying these things?

  •  I don't have time to work out.
  • I wish I had time to visit my grandmother.
  • I hope I can make it to the networking social.
  • I was late because he wouldn't hurry up.
  • I can't write my book because I never have extra time.

These are choices we continue to make - you are not a victim of these circumstances. Consider the difference:

  • I chose to work late/sleep late instead of working out.
  • I choose to watch Netflix instead of visiting my grandmother.
  • I am not willing to plan accordingly so I will not be attending the social.
  • I chose to wait for him instead of leaving with enough time to arrive on time.
  • I do not make writing my book a priority.

This is an uncomfortable shift for most of us. Our previous word choices of "I don't have time, I wish, I hope, I can't, I couldn't" take our responsibility and ownership out of the equation. That means we don't feel bad saying them.

The problem is, the more we use these excuses, the more we start to believe them. And the less we actually accomplish.

Removing the concept of choice from the equation gives us an "out" when in conversation with people who want us to make a specific choice in response to their requests.  When a friend asks you to meet her out for happy hour, instead of saying "Thank you for inviting me, I am going to skip this one because I've had a busy week and want to catch up on sleep," we say, "I wish I could but I have to work the next morning."  It seems innocuous, but the shift is vital to regaining power over your time.

Another example... You've been wanting to take a pottery class. You keep telling yourself and anyone else who will listen that you are SO busy that you don't have time to take the class.

The reality is, you are using that time for something else - whether it's spending time with your kids, working out, staying late at work, or just binge watching Netflix.  It doesn't matter where your time is going. You CHOOSE to use your time in that way. Every minute is a CHOICE.

How about this one: "I HAVE to go to work." Another lie! You CHOOSE to go to work because a) you enjoy being able to pay your bills, feed your face and your family and contribute to your financial security, b) you haven't invested time to find another job or acquire new skills to attain a new source of income, c) you aren't clear on what else you'd do with your time... and so forth!

When you make the shift to step out of victim mentality and ditch the excuses, you discover you have SO many more choices than you previously realized. Of course, there are consequences for EVERY choice we make, and some of those consequences are not ideal. That's why you are where you are, right now. We make choices every day, every hour, every minute. We choose every moment we breathe. If you don't like where you are with your life, it's time to evaluate your choices!

CHALLENGE: This week, raise your awareness on how often you are giving your personal power away. What phrases are your defaults? Are they serving your true desires for your day to day life? What choices are you making without realizing you're choosing?

Brei Stevenson